This month was a wreck. Due to two reasons. One more than the other.
1. K dramas. I began my obsession with k dramas in the month of July and thus, did absolutely nothing else. Are you proud of yourself Vanessa? On the positive side, I got very familiar with Korean and am now very determined to learn. Also, I found the love of my life. Okay, the (maybe, I'm not sure at this point anymore) 10th love of my life so far this year, still. We all know how obsessive I can be, that is the base factor of a fangirl after all. So is it really my fault that k dramas just happened to be so good? Well, no. However I should have at least written a little more everyday. Or anything at all really.
2. Existential crisis. Not entirely existiential. More like, professional crisis? I don't know. I just came to the conclusion that if I had so many doubts about actually becoming a writer, maybe I shouldn't pursue that as my life career. If it's something I'm going to be doing professionally and for the rest of my life, it should be something I don't go, "Hmm, but do I?" when I think about it.
I mean, I see so many people so passionate about what they're doing in life and I want to be one of those that are happy because they decided to follow their dreams and didn't just choose whatever was there in front of them. The problem is I don't know what exactly it is yet. And let me tell you I've had a taste of a few things already.
Anyways, back to the writing. Since I've doubted whether I really want to become a writer, then I didn't feel as obligated as to writing as I did in the April session. Which made it worse because at least then I only had a word goal of 30k unlike this session where I was really ambitious due to my summer vacations starting and set it at 50k. Little did I know then how downhill it would go.
So now, it is currently the last day and I've written 11k. I have to write another 39k for me to win. Can I do it?
I am crazy enough to believe I can.
Will I do it?
That's exactly the right question.
- Vanessa
PS
I'll post an update eventually. I'm such a procrastinator it should be illegal.
Why it's real.
My little brother asks me a lot about Spider Man. As we live in Mexico and he knows Spider Man lives in the US, he asked me to take pictures of him shooting a web when I move back. He's 5 years old so I debated quickly on whether to explain to him the fact that Peter Parker was fiction or not, to which I decided to in fact do so. I tried to explain it though, without making fiction and not-real synonyms if you know what I mean.
I get emotionally attached to characters all the time, every time, from a book, a show, a movie, even a commercial. And though I sometimes question whether it has to do with some psychological affair I should check out with a shrink, I have ultimately always decided on accepting it and embracing it even. Now, I have finally been able to put into words how I take in those situations, where I cry with them and laugh with them, and throw tantrums even though I appear to be insane.
They may be a part of a story, of a script, just fiction. But that's the thing, isn't it. Fiction isn't just.
Because although names are different, faces, places, families, lies, promises... it still is something that happens, that happened somewhere in the world. Somewhere there are men who jump in front of the women they love every time someone wants to hurt her, somewhere there are people making their friend smile and laugh and helping them overcome whatever they need so they can be happy, somewhere there is someone teaching humility, or love or friendship or forgiveness or loyalty and there's someone learning.
So how can I not get attached? How can I not smile like an absolute fool or cry like a baby when I see these things happen in front of my eyes? How, when there are people in this world really crying, losing, laughing, loving, winning, yelling, learning and living... how can I just act as if it were fiction when it is just so so obvious that it's real?
- Vanessa
I get emotionally attached to characters all the time, every time, from a book, a show, a movie, even a commercial. And though I sometimes question whether it has to do with some psychological affair I should check out with a shrink, I have ultimately always decided on accepting it and embracing it even. Now, I have finally been able to put into words how I take in those situations, where I cry with them and laugh with them, and throw tantrums even though I appear to be insane.
They may be a part of a story, of a script, just fiction. But that's the thing, isn't it. Fiction isn't just.
Because although names are different, faces, places, families, lies, promises... it still is something that happens, that happened somewhere in the world. Somewhere there are men who jump in front of the women they love every time someone wants to hurt her, somewhere there are people making their friend smile and laugh and helping them overcome whatever they need so they can be happy, somewhere there is someone teaching humility, or love or friendship or forgiveness or loyalty and there's someone learning.
So how can I not get attached? How can I not smile like an absolute fool or cry like a baby when I see these things happen in front of my eyes? How, when there are people in this world really crying, losing, laughing, loving, winning, yelling, learning and living... how can I just act as if it were fiction when it is just so so obvious that it's real?
- Vanessa
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