Okay. Here's the update.
Last word count goal ended up being 20k. I wrote half of that on the last day, literally the 31st. I didn't want to fall completely short so I wrote as much as I could within like 18 hours or so. Sure it completely destroyed my sleeping schedule but let's be honest here, it wasn't something to maintain anyways. So, I lost NaNoWriMo again, 2nd time in a row but I don't feel too bad about it. As I said, I don't know if I want to be a writer anymore, although those last 10k words have me thinking I'll keep it as a hobby, so I don't feel as pressured as I used to to actually get good at it. Thus, making me not feel the responsibility to write more, and of course NaNoWriMo was an excellent motivation tool to do so.
So. Both of my active cabin mates won. I don't know if I'll be joining in November as I don't know what my emotional, psychological and professional state will be. My world will shift under my feet as I move back to my country (eventually), and maybe I will find that writing is the only I want to do. I do love stories. And I do love words. But perhaps, I was just meant to be a voice in the stands cheering everyone else on rather than on the field trying desperately to score a goal, or touchdown, or 10 points for Gryffindor. I'm a Gryffindor but I kept thinking I was a Slytherin. The Hat knows best though.
- Vanessa
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