This month was a wreck. Due to two reasons. One more than the other.
1. K dramas. I began my obsession with k dramas in the month of July and thus, did absolutely nothing else. Are you proud of yourself Vanessa? On the positive side, I got very familiar with Korean and am now very determined to learn. Also, I found the love of my life. Okay, the (maybe, I'm not sure at this point anymore) 10th love of my life so far this year, still. We all know how obsessive I can be, that is the base factor of a fangirl after all. So is it really my fault that k dramas just happened to be so good? Well, no. However I should have at least written a little more everyday. Or anything at all really.
2. Existential crisis. Not entirely existiential. More like, professional crisis? I don't know. I just came to the conclusion that if I had so many doubts about actually becoming a writer, maybe I shouldn't pursue that as my life career. If it's something I'm going to be doing professionally and for the rest of my life, it should be something I don't go, "Hmm, but do I?" when I think about it.
I mean, I see so many people so passionate about what they're doing in life and I want to be one of those that are happy because they decided to follow their dreams and didn't just choose whatever was there in front of them. The problem is I don't know what exactly it is yet. And let me tell you I've had a taste of a few things already.
Anyways, back to the writing. Since I've doubted whether I really want to become a writer, then I didn't feel as obligated as to writing as I did in the April session. Which made it worse because at least then I only had a word goal of 30k unlike this session where I was really ambitious due to my summer vacations starting and set it at 50k. Little did I know then how downhill it would go.
So now, it is currently the last day and I've written 11k. I have to write another 39k for me to win. Can I do it?
I am crazy enough to believe I can.
Will I do it?
That's exactly the right question.
- Vanessa
PS
I'll post an update eventually. I'm such a procrastinator it should be illegal.
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